Friday, December 7, 2012

poem of the day 12.07.12


as good as it’s going to get

this is it, i think
as good as it’s going to get
almost like the title of that nicholson film
this is it
sitting here in this white asylum
of a lunch room
watching the people go over the tabloids
discussing the antics of the rich and infamous
knowing that i’ll be sitting with them
until we either retire or die
drinking beer in sad, dark bars to kill the hours in between
it
like reaching a destination
and having it closed
it
like seeing the grand canyon
and realizing it’s a big gaping hole in the earth
this is it, i think
riding the bus with every loud lunatic
my transportation for the next thirty years of my life
nothing but a transit pass infinite
listening to every inane conversation to be had on cellphones
wondering what torture device the style makers
will come up with next
coming home to dinner and death and the gray realization
that tomorrow is another day
it
like no god could’ve predicted
for his children
it
like the end of a bad film
that you know you’ll have to sit through again and again
this is it, i think
even when coasting over an ocean
hauling my bones to another dead country
upon the bloody soil of history
looking at the bad art of overrated masters
searching for the homes of the literary damned
sitting in european bars that are just a lousy
as the ones in america
feasting on foods that i’ll only have to shit back out
it
like seas and seas of morons
who have tread these paths before me
it
like the smiling face on a fat tourist
lumbering through an ancient church
this is it, i think
and i want to claw out my eyes
want to walk into the middle of traffic
with a beatific smile on my face
and proclaim that i am done with
it
that i can take no more of
it
but i’m as soft as the rest of them
i’ll soldier on through the daylight and into the night
searching for
it
like so many others never finding
it
but instead continue to suffer the indignities
of this existence
with a smile on my face
until the body, the mind give out
and i’ll be scratching at the walls
claiming and claiming how much i want
just another minute of
it.

                       

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