where have you gone
eddie murphy?
up to cartoon donkey heaven?
hiding away in a bubble hill mansion
of the mind?
on some film set in l.a.
waiting to drop another cinematic turd
on your old fan’s heads?
i remember when you were the baddest motherfucker
to stroll across the stage
the thing is…do you?
ten years old and getting up in the middle of the night
to watch delirious
trying not to piss myself while my parents slept
then sleeping through school the next day
eddie, the way you made mr. t look
man, i could never watch the a-team
with a straight face again
eddie murphy, every white suburban mom’s nightmare
on a hot summer day with the ice cream song
i don’t know a drop of shakespeare
but goddamn it, man
there are entire bits from raw
that this pool fool can recite by heart
where have you gone eddie murphy?
knocking up spice girls and hiding behind prosthetics
another beverly hills cop movie in infinite development
i think of those years buying used vhs copies
of 48 hrs., trading places, beverly hills cop
and the golden child
hoping that the pimple-faced fuck
working the video store counter wouldn’t give me shit
hiding the movies underneath my bed
like illegal contraband
eddie, i suffered harlem
nights for you
i did it for jasmine guy too
and now she’s gone as well
i even bought both your shitty albums
i don’t want to think this has all been a waste of time
can’t you see we need you?
it’s not just the prostitutes on sunset boulevard
who want you back
what’ll it take to get you to make another classic?
five million? ten
million?
fifty-percent of the profits on another hit?
if we could just get you up there on the silver screen
think coming to
america, boomerang,
robin givens in a horizontal position
eddie, whatever it is that you need
just come on and give us something new laugh about?
bill cosby is still out there
he’s having a coke and a smile
so go on and dust off that red leather outfit
and take it out for spin
i’m sure it still fits
hit the comedy clubs and give them all a scare
eddie, stand under those hot white lights
and tell us a joke or two
then turn to the crowd and do that magical laugh
make this tired, cruel world
bust its big fat gut
just one more time for old time’s sake.
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