gwen
there were many girls
whom i chased on campus
but few that i actually talked to
gwen started talking to me in art class one afternoon
because we were both drunk in the middle of the day
a drunk can always tell another drunk
especially when he’s staring right at you
but i couldn’t help myself
she had the most wonderfully wide eyes
and dyed red hair that she was always blowing out of her
face
after that we hung out on campus a bit
i was getting over someone who wouldn’t let me go
and she was just getting into someone
some days i’d walk her to the bus stop
on others we’d sit on the library steps
eating vendor hot dogs
watching our coeds go from class to class
gwen talked at times about him
but i never felt the need to mention her at all
she worked at a bar down on st. clair street
that had over fifty beers on tap
you should come by one night, gwen said
but i never knew how to take her invitation
what with all of the boyfriend talk
so i never went
when class ended we offered to keep in touch
but who really does?
gwen said that she was leaving pittsburgh anyway
for a while life grew aimless
i had the first of many dead end full-tine jobs
and in my spare time i knew
where every quarter draft night was
in the fine city of pittsburgh and its surrounding suburbs
i was floating by
and content to do so for however long it took
one night i was drinking in the bar of an italian restaurant
with an old friend and a blonde whom i just met
a girl who would try her best to destroy me
later that very same year
when there was gwen dressed in full waitresses regalia
her hair a bit longer and pulled back into a ponytail
but still tickling her cheeks
when she saw me those eyes lit up
and i felt some hope creep up in there with the failure
she called me over to her and gave me a hug
she said,
i’m glad you never came down to that bar
because they all ended up being assholes there
i wanted to ask her about the boyfriend
about how she came to stay in the city
but gwen started writing something down on her order pad
she ripped a piece of paper off and handed it to me
there was her name and phone number
finally
but then i noticed a bunch of fractions
with prices listed next to them
pot, gwen whispered
i’m selling pot now
then she blew the hair out of her face
and left me standing there
i went back over to my friend and the blonde
she was underage
she liked to wink at me while he talked
and when she bummed a smoke off of me
she didn’t even ask
she just took one from the pack
and went out into the night
shaking her ass
and craning her neck every few steps
to make damn sure that i was looking at her
instead of that space in the archway
that gwen had left.
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