Wednesday, April 20, 2016

poem of the day 04.20.16

watching the fat kid play video games

he hasn’t been in here for months
because the other kids were making fun of him

this afternoon, they’re leaving him alone
caught up in their own stupid boy/girl dramas

he’s as good as the mildew stain on this wall
….for now

fat kids pray for small miracles like this

moments of calm within the maelstrom
of insults and indignities

i know because i was one

obese double chinned sweatpants wearing
bad hair pimpled glasses wouldn’t fit over my face
tailored polyester pants xxl t-shirt man tits

wouldn’t go bare chested on a beach or in a pool to save my life
especially if there were girls around

until i starved myself for a small vanity at seventeen
told myself a little conformity never hurt anyone

i still carry that fat kid with me
into every relationship

you just never get too close to people
because the past has shown you  just how easily they turn

i wish more for the fat kid sitting here
playing video games on his phone

more than a life of caution and a well of distrust
small moments that evaporate
with the blink of some bastard’s eye

i hope he learns how to come through the fire
better than i ever did

hope he carves out
some simple kind of happiness
finds his niche his crowd his tribe

learns it’s okay too to make it alone

i think how a little bit of optimism
never hurt anyone either

but soon the conversation
of the other kids dies down

the taps on the shoulders and the whispers
and the giggles through cupped mouths begin

the fat kid playing video games
can tell it just as well as i can

this sixth sense we’ve been saddled with

and as he gets up to leave before the onslaught even comes
i want to tell him something

something that’ll make this all right

but i just say, take it easy, man
and he doesn’t even answer me

just breaks for the door and is gone like a phantom
before the first cackle bursts

from the cacophony
of those ignorant, well-formed
well-adjusted mouths.


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