This fabulist of epic proportions,
this misanthropic churl,
this boorish miscreant who speaks
nothing but calumny, jingo, and
self-adulation at the drop of a vermillion chapeau,
this xenophobic boil on the national arse,
this narcissistic tumor with an illegal pompadour,
this inhaler of ill-omened fluorocarbons,
this breeder of disastrous progeny
with vapid consorts while mauling concubines,
having them micturate upon his naked, slug-like form;
on you, I place this curse, this malediction, this anathema
(puts left hand over eyes and forms an arcane mudra
to call forth powerful juju):
Permanent delusional parasitosis.
Look it up, asshat.