the gilded fry cook
i swear
that somewhere in america
there is a gilded fry cook
making fifteen dollars an hour to flip burgers
with full bennies
and two weeks paid vacation
a full-fledged union worker whistling
zip-a-dee-doo-dah as the meat fries
and the fat bubbles of the grille
or maybe that’s a myth they tell us
still
my wife tells me
that soon they’ll be paying the homeless
to become wi-fi hubs
it’s a little something to keep them
honest and on the ball
because we don’t tolerate quitters
we don’t tolerate the lazy in this country
but i’m not sure what i think about that
it’ll make a cool facebook status
for someone though
homeless dude stinks
but you can’t beat the
connection, bro-ha
i wonder what’s next
we’ve made it almost a month here
without someone flipping out
and killing a bunch of random strangers
i guess i’m getting bored and complacent
i’m in need of an angry fix
in need of something to pass these end of days
a new chapter in this horror story
to curl my toes and scare me shitless
a deranged loner
hanging outside a packed mall
preparing his own doorbuster
uncle sam haggard and fed up
living on life support
a priest giving him last rites
while his lawyers give interviews
to the 24/7 news feed
another sports legend
jacked up on PEDs and steroids
maybe he could lose his mind
and kidnap a bus full of suburban kids
going on a field trip to a church
half of them wearing his team colors
he could hold them up for ransom somewhere
have it paid in euros when football season ends
so he could get the hell out of america
return them all unharmed and smiling
with autographed glossies
plead for mercy
plead insanity
play highlight reels until the jury is numb
lock him up and give him the best
health care imaginable
the kind that everyone gets here now
from the president all the way down to the fry cook
to me and you
and the homeless dude
with the wireless router
embedded in his brain.
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