Tuesday, May 27, 2014

poem of the day 05.27.14

ring tones

it’s an outdated complaint
but i can’t stand ringtones on cell phones

it’s like everyone is a star
with their own soundtrack
everyone is a celebrity

more like game show hosts

as if the music on these devices isn’t bad enough
it’s the attitude that comes with it

how the offending moron just sits there
and lets the phone ring

so that the rest of us know
what kind of bad music the asshole listens to

and then it’s always
oh, is that for me?

before they finally lean over and pick up
to then shout some banality
at the infinitely important person on the other end

i sound like a relic complaining about this, i know
and it’s only going to get worse

but it drives me mad

on buses on subways or in the grocery store
as someone’s phone blasts star wars music
because their wife called to remind them
to pick up a can of peas

or the beatles because the old man forgot his wallet again

i wish we had ringtones for important things
like ones to announce our deaths

or when someone that you don’t want to see
might be rounding the corner

instead of ringtones blaring to let amber know
that britney is calling about her new nail color

then maybe i could find some usefulness in them

i mean it might be nice to hear
tchaikovsky’s piano concerto #1 right before i bite it
a clapton riff when i’m coming up on traffic

or the stones’ gimme shelter sounding out
just to give me fair warning

that you’re standing there waiting on me
only one block away


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