Monday, January 25, 2016

"best of" poem of the day 01.25.16

novel writing, four days w/o heat or hot water, a blizzard....we'll try again tomorrow.

irate american

there is no simplicity
in bureaucracy
there is only me and this guy
on the other end of the line
asking me a million questions
about my credit card history
my banking history
when all i want to do it put a note in my account
saying i’ll be in germany and prague for two weeks
i imagine he is in india
because that’s what he sounds like
i try to tread carefully
don’t want to sound like the irate american
so i play it cool while he puts me on hold
then puts me on hold again
comes back and asks me
where i live
makes me repeat my phone number
work number
he even asks me about
the previous phone number attached to the card
i’m surprised that i remember it
do you want me to send you my sperm too? i ask
but he only puts me on hold again
what’s going on? my wife asks
i shrug and wait
he gets back on the phone
he asks me when the last time i used the card was
where i used it
how much did i charge
look, i don’t remember, i tell him
i hardly use this thing
is there something wrong with my account?
he puts me on hold again
i can feel the blood boiling beneath me
the fear
the beast emerging
i imagine terrorists or some jack-off
who wanted exercise equipment has stolen my information
a duplicate me out there
buying all of the shit that i can only look at
when he gets back on the line he gets a word out
before i start
a litany of profanity so long
i couldn’t tell you how i laced it together
but it feels good to yell at him
to yell at someone
to pitch a fit
have a good old temper tantrum
to tell this faceless imp thousands of miles away
how i feel fucked with
me? a card holder for twenty-three years
there are chicks giving head in bars
who weren’t even born when i got this card, i shout
i tell him how i’m going to cut the card
into a million pieces and sent it to him
like a horse’s head
a ransomed finger
as if he cares
as if anyone cares
and when i’m finally done yelling
i notice there’s a woman on the line
instead of my main man
she says, the note has been added to your account, sir
then hangs up
while i stay there on the line
letting another hollow victory wash over me.


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