Thursday, February 2, 2017


golden showers

the new president
likes to be pissed on

or he likes to watch prostitutes
piss on each other

i don’t know
it’s so hard to gauge the truth these days

and like a good little patriot
i’m not even going to bother
to sift through the muck

but unusual sexual proclivities
have always been as american as apple pie

though they didn’t put it in his bio
it always seemed to me
that george washington liked a good cucumber
shoved up his slave holding ass

of course…what exactly is unusual these days?

maybe the weather being
twenty degrees one day, sixty the next

only no one seems to be talking about that

most people are happy not to shiver
one man’s comfort is another man’s lingering drought

and i’ve been battling a cold all winter
which is unusual for yours truly

and i’ve never wanted anyone to piss on me
although i have my menu of special sexual appetites
that would make my grandma blush were she still alive

i have a bigger problem with the president
thinking that climate change is a hoax

sitting here in the dead of winter in my shorts
with all of the windows open and sweat on my brow

i couldn’t care less if the man wanted painted clowns
to take steaming shits in his big mouth

i just don’t want to be sixty some day
and drown in a climate-change induced fucking flood

america is really the only place
where a know-nothing charlatan can hold
the highest office in the land

and the scientists have to run underground
like common thieves

waking up in america
is a lot like waking up into a car wreck most mornings

it’s a self-inflicted slaughter
that you can’t quit or avert your eyes from

waking up in america 
is like being pissed on constantly

only not in any sexual way

it’s just this sopping, stinking feeling
that burns your eyes and tears out your soul

one long golden shower that you’re perpetually stuck in
like some clueless asshole at a bus stop

without a raincoat
or a good enough umbrella

to keep that poisoned water off of you            


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