Tuesday, August 6, 2013

poem of the day 08.06.13

poem for the girl in the purple mini
who thinks that i stole her phone

now you know for a fact
that we checked through your books twice

i even removed the return bin
scanned the floor
and found only a few dead ants

and, all right, when the office door slammed shut
and i made that joke
about you being trapped in here forever

well, even that wasn’t really in poor taste

it certainly wasn’t worth your ire

but i didn’t steal your cell phone
so please stop glaring at me
while i’m trying to do my job

the a.c. is broken and it’s like a swamp in here
i’m famous for my short fuse in the heat

so i don’t have time for some fourteen year-old kid
in a purple mini dress giving me the evil eye
while i sweat my ass off

give your evil eye to the boys playing video games

i didn’t take your phone, kid
no matter how high tech you told me it was

if it’s so high tech let it find you

i don’t even want a cell phone
yours or anyone else’s

i hate those things
i have poems and blog posts dedicated to my revulsion

if i have it my way i’ll be the last man in the world
without a cell phone


and that goes for e-readers and gps
and all of that other horseshit that you fucking aliens need
just to walk down the street now

maybe i’m the alien

i swear i got sucked into a multiverse
around 2003 or 2004
and now i’m stuck with all of you thumb-tapping morons

you know what, kid?
you probably left your cell phone at home
or on the subway

you kids are always leaving shit

you’d walk out of the house without your heads
if they weren’t screwed on tight

some five year-old on the 7 train is probably half-way to queens
playing games on your phone

or some thug is deleting all of your shit
and making it his

but it wasn’t me, girly girl

i just work here
and i’ve grown fond of keeping a roof over my head
so i’m not risking this job
for some fucking phone that can track my every move

my advice to you next time
is to wear some pants with pockets
or carry a bag

you’re too young to be wearing a purple mini skirt anyway

i mean who let you out of the house like that?
your parents?

if i had a cell phone i’d give them a call right now
and tell them to come pick you

but, like i said, i don’t have a cell phone
and now you don’t have a cell phone
so let me be the first person
to welcome you to 1984, kid

where we made it just fine
without all of that bells and gadget shit

where the only surveillance comes from
a george orwell novel

a kindler, simpler time
with a president who’s still more an actor
than he thinks

and everyone keeps asking
where’s the beef?


1 comment:

Pat Tillett said...

Lots of great lines in this one.
"if it’s so high tech let it find you." This line though, is a classic.

With the way my kids lose shit around here, I bet I can use that line before the weekend...