Monday, January 6, 2014

poem of the day 01.06.14

hello all

well a new year is upon us and i'm back at the machine.  2013 really burnt me.
i'm going to try and keep this blog going with new stuff, but an original poem a day
is getting harder and harder with there may be instances were i throw an
oldie but a "goodie" at you.


but let's start the new year off with something new today......

rockabilly fag hag

the rockabilly fag hag takes the seat
two down from me at the bar

she lets her buddy (who isn’t rockabilly)
saddle up in a stool next to mine

she has tattoos of a deck of cards
a skeleton elvis, a spider web and a flaming set of dice

she’s real rockabilly

she says, this bar doesn’t look anything
like it says in the article on dive bars

and it hits me that i drink in a dive bar featured
in an article on dive bars

it’s kind of like realizing you drink in disneyland

then she says, this is a total sausage party in here
even though you can count at least
seven or eight women putting back pints

her buddy says, totally

and because he’s the queen of the ball
maybe they’re on to something this saturday night

they start giving my favorite bartender, seth, a hard time
asking him for drinks that he doesn’t make
drinks that the article on dive bars says they make here

they ask him if this is a gay bar
and seth says only if your gay…or happy

then he does a flamming strut to the other end of the bar
just to let rockabilly fag hag know
what an insufferable bitch she’s being

as her buddy checks  his cell phone
looking for a better opportunity than this one

they both order spiked apple cider
call seth a dick when he walks away
without taking their order
before mocking everyone they lay eyes on

i think about pulling a 1989 era
michael keaton batman on the guy
elbowing him in the stomach
and then getting him right in the face
with the back of my fist

i don’t know what i’d do to rockabilly fag hag
maybe try to slice off her bettie page tattoo
with an ice chipper

or take the black and pink rose out of her hair
and shove it down her throat

that seems like a harsh thing to do
but i’ve been in a bad mood all week

instead i wonder if there’s really
an article on dive bars that i can read

because if assholes like these two
keep coming into this joint

seth or no seth

i’m going to need
to start scouting out a new location

soon. first novel, The Librarian, is available for purchase at  


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