Saturday, September 8, 2018


trolling the trumps

i’m not proud of it
but i follow all of the trumps on twitter
it’s a defect in me
but i just have to know
what these assholes are saying
usually it’s something dumb
about making america great again
but really has to do
with making all of the trumps rich
ivanka does her bullshit
in support of women
but it’s kind of hard to buy that
when her old man grabs ‘em by the pussy
and has been accused of rape
eric trump is about as dull a philistine
as one can imagine
most days i’m surprised that he can even spell
and i wonder if eric goes home
and cries in the mirror
because he’s ugly as fuck too
just yesterday he posted a picture of his kid
and i just felt bad for it
from its rotten family lineage
down to its ugly dad
i think more than any of them
maybe even that cheeto nzai trump himself
that i hate donald jr. more than the rest
there’s just something about him
out there parroting his old man
forty years old and he’s never had an original thought
the snide frat boy face
his privileged spray-on tan
his dullard chin that seems to hang there
that receding greaseball hair
his beady douche bag eyes
the fact that junior shoots lions for sport
i mean i’m a carnivore
but i’m not out there shooting chickens
overall i look at the whole trump family
and i think, what pieces of shit
what walking human garbage
and i can’t help myself
i’ll call trump a name
or i’ll tell ivanka she’s done nothing for women
i’ll call eric pee wee and junior a greaseball
it’ll make me feel good for a second
until i realize they probably aren’t seeing my comments anyway
and that the world at large
is still all theirs to pick apart to the bones
leaving nothing left but blood and ashes
and that all i’m really doing
is getting myself all angry
or pissing off some MAGA shithead in illinois
who writes me back telling me
what a worthless human being i am
how i’m trying to ruin america
and that i probably like men
as if i’m supposed to be offended by that
in the twenty-first century
or maybe people in illinois are still offended by that
real men in MAGA hats
driving real trucks and waving real flags
drinking real beer while saying merry christmas
who believe in god
who probably shoot guns like chickens
at deer and ducks and squirrels
pretending they are shooting lions
and then go home and jerk-off to FOX NEWS or NASCAR
and ivanka
but most likely they pull their pig
to donald trump jr.'s
and his greaseball hair.

--John Grochalski


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