Sunday, May 31, 2020


Strategies for Surviving tRump Virus

Shelter in place.
When venturing forth to buy groceries,
wear gloves and a mask.
Stay six to ten feet away from others.
Wash every stitch of clothing
as soon as you’re home.
Clean every surface with disinfectant.
Carry Chlorox wipes in the car.
Wash hands constantly.
Do not touch your face.
Shun crowds like the plague.
Be grateful you can afford delivery services.
Order take out/curbside pick up at least once a week.
Confer with your doctor via web-based video.
Try not to binge overeat.
Keep busy to avoid going insane.
Give your cranky husband plenty of space.
Exercise, work in the garden.
Read all those books on your shelves.
Attend Zoom support group meetings.
Ration exposure to Internet news.
Eschew clueless television talking heads.
Avoid obsessing over rising infection and death rates.
Subject yourself to antibody testing.
Tell yourself things will someday improve.
Persuade friends to call out conspiracy theories, lies.
In November, demand change and vote blue.

--Jennifer Lagier

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