Tuesday, March 4, 2014

poem of the day 03.04.14

heroin chic

i lost seventy pounds
between my junior and senior year of high school

i did it through diet and exercise
only i told everyone that i could
that i was on heroin but that i’d kicked it

the bullies and the jocks
the pretty girls on the bus
who’d laughed at me and my fat boy crushes

heroin, i said

really? they said
like they couldn’t believe it

you don’t seem the type, dude

but i am, dude

they always asked why
it was probably because they never
had anything to worry about
being bullies and jocks and pretty girls on the bus

i wanted to say it was because of them
that i’d turned to drugs

but i didn’t know anything about heroin
i only drank beer

so i always said, depression, man
and they didn’t even understand that

but depression seemed like a reason for doing heroin

the rumor didn’t get around too much
but the guidance counselor caught on

he was an all right guy
albeit a little too concerned

he pulled me out of class a lot
so that we could talk in the hallways
about how i was feeling

he always wanted to talk about heroin

this place is a trap
it stifles individuality, i said
it’s a factory for the self-righteous and dull

but the heroin, he said

i can’t wait to leave here and never come back, i said
i’d burn this place if i could get away with it

if you don’t tell me about the heroin
i’m calling your parents, he said

there was no heroin, i said

you’re lying, he said

i lost weight through diet and exercise

let me see your arms, he said

can’t you see this place is killing me? i said

and on and on and on
until i rolled up my sleeves and showed him my arms

why’d you tell everyone it was heroin? he asked

boredom, i said

after that he stopped coming to get me out of class
and it got around that i’d just lost weight

the bullies and the jocks and the pretty girls on the bus
weren’t intrigued by that

i went back to being ignored again
back with other outcasts like big pink and fat elephants
hiding in the corner of the room

at their homecoming dances
and their mother fucking prom

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