Saturday, July 8, 2017


wayne lapierre’s hard-on

every time a person gets shot in america
wayne lapierre gets a hard-on
it happens like magic
it’s a force of nature, really
154 mass shootings and it’s not even july
wayne’s cock is as stiff as a silver bullet
on special days when the carnage comes three or four times
people working at the NRA know to steer clear
lest they get bludgeoned by the thing
good christ, this is better than viagra!
lapierre is known to shout
just after getting off a phone call with a congressman
willing to suck him off for votes
when james holmes shot up that batman movie in colorado
good old wayne couldn’t even walk
down the office hallway
without knocking over potted plants
and puncturing holes in the framed copy of the 2nd amendment 
when sandy hook happened
no one saw wayne for a week
rumor had it that he was out of the country
pole vaulting the eiffel tower
and when that kid with the bowl haircut shot up a church
well, shit, wayne damned near drilled himself to china
nobody knows how or why this happens
why wayne’s dick grows to gargantuan proportions
whenever a cop blows some kid away
or some maniac shoots up a club
some mysteries of the world can’t be explained so easily
like what really happens in the bermuda triangle
or how that face got on the shroud of turin
it is what it is, to use the parlance of our times
but pay attention
the next time someone shoots up a government building
takes aim at politicians on ballfields
or blows away their co-workers
only to take themselves out too
pay attention to the sky
because you might just catch wayne lapierre
with that magical hard-on of his
leap frogging himself so high and mighty
over that small and insignificant body
that us peasants down here in murderland
like to call the moon.              

--John Grochalski       

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