Wednesday, February 14, 2018


Me too and You too

He says he didn’t know.
Or understand.
He didn’t mean to do anything wrong
even when he walked her back to the couch
poured more wine
and tried again
after having just failed
to fuck her.

I think about that party in college
him so witty and charming
following me from room to room
me flirting back because it was fun
and I liked him
but wasn’t going to fuck him.

His anger frothy like the beer foam
when by the end of the night he realized
this was not going to end the way he wanted,

spewing at me that he put in all this work.
Realizing then that I was a thing to be overcome.
That the dance I thought we were both doing
the one I hoped would end in plans for coffee
the next day
or a movie
was in fact not a dance at all

but a simple hunt.

This is the way we are raised.
Women demure.
Men pursue.
Think of Han and Leia.
The lessons have always been there.

This is what we talk about when we talk about rape culture
but all men hear is rape
and not culture
and all they think of is a cartoon scary man in the bushes
not themselves,
pouring more wine
pushing for sex
thinking every kiss will lead there
like those who claim
there is no climate change
because it’s cold
means there is no global warming

The subtlety is lost in the context
because the lesson has been taught over and over and over again.
Just keep pushing/ just keep pushing back.

Remember just because it wasn’t
doesn’t mean it wasn’t
a violation.

--Ally Malinenko

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