Tuesday, October 15, 2019


Worst Superhero Ever: a found poem

Florida Man fatally shoots son-in-law
who was trying to surprise him for his birthday
Florida Man parks smart car in kitchen
so it won’t blow away
Florida Man takes golf cart on wild ride
through Walmart
Florida Man arrested for threatening
to shoot up Walmart after El Paso Massacre
Florida Man caught exposing himself
in Walmart pillow aisle
Florida Man arrested, caught on video
using samurai sword to fight over wheelbarrow
Florida Man who didn’t flush toilet
threatened griping friend with a machete
Florida Man threatens to kill man with kindness,
uses machete named “Kindness”
Florida Man doesn't get straw,
attacks McDonald's employee
Florida Man intentionally drove Ferrari 360 into ocean
at top speed, says “Jesus told him to”
Florida Man killed ex-girlfriend
while trying to “get rid of the devil”
Florida Man shooting at target in backyard
hits neighbor sitting at dining room table
Florida Man arrested at Mar-a-lago, says he came to talk
to Trump about “his $6.3 trillion”
Florida Man denies syringes found in rectum
are his
Florida Man arrested after argument
over cheesesteak
Florida Man accused of burning son
to teach him a lesson about fire
Florida Man allegedly fooled family into believing
murdered wife was still alive
Florida Man beat, pepper-sprayed Mom
because “She was a narcissist”
Florida Man finds a WWII grenade, places it in his truck,
drives to Taco Bell
Florida Man learns hard way
he stole laxatives, not opioids
Florida Man spent weeks in jail for heroin
that was actually detergent
Florida Man accused of robbing Chinese restaurant
at finger point
Florida Man thought he’d do donuts
on the airport runway
Florida Man dances
through DUI sobriety test
Florida Man caught on camera
licking doorbell

--Shawn Pavey

Shawn Pavey

Author, Survival Tips for the Pending Apocalypse (Spartan Press 2019), Nobody Steals the Towels From a Motel 6 (Spartan Press, 2015), and Talking to Shadows (Main Street Rag Publishing Company, 2008)

Former Vice President, The Writers Place Board of Directors

Co-founder, former Associate Editor, and Midwest Ambassador, The Main Street Rag Literary Journal

Poet In Residence, 2010, PresentMagazine.com
Blog: http://www.shawnpavey.com

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